Week 2 Six-Pack: Six Things I Took With Me From This Week's Slate

Writing recaps of the games I find to be boring, like listening to your publicly traded company's CFO regurgitate the financial results of the firm's Q2 thinking that anyone gives a shit, or in the rare case they do, can't just go online and read it themselves. There's not enough time to go into details, so they stick to high level, talk top and bottom line numbers, and piss off everyone in the company whose raise is being held up due to "budget constraints" while they boast about shareholder sentiment.

So instead of going through six games and talking about a play here or there that changed the outcome, I'm going to go through the six things I left Sunday thinking about, my six biggest takeaways if you will, from another incredible week of games. *in no particular order*

No 1. The Bengals Are Cursed

For all the comebacks, close games, and fourth quarter drama of week 2, the headline of the week came early Monday morning when it was confirmed Joe Burrow is out for basically the year, yet again, this time to turf toe.

This team can't catch a break. For the first time since Joe Cool entered the league the team is 2-0, with his top two targets (per his request) locked up for a few years, and this happens. I can't help but think this is some level of football karma for the owner who by so many sources around football treats the team like the sister's of the poor. The organization received an F-, a literal grade that doesn't exist, in the most recent rendition of the always hilarious NFLPA annual report card in "treatment of families". How do you even get that? Spray them with pepper spray as the open the doors to the facility? Give them expired milk and cereal while the equipment staff eats filet mignon's at the table next to them?

We know that's not the case, since Cincinnati also received the only F grade in the league for "Food and Dining Area". So maybe everyone eats expired milk and cereal. Do you think having the worst food and dining, as well as the worst nutritionist/dieticians in the league has anything to do with the injuries that plague this team? Maybe not, but it's fun to make fun.

I feel for Joe and the Bengals players/fans. Last year they had one of the best offenses in the league and, like my fantasy team who had both Burrow and Ja'Marr, just couldn't stop giving up points and missed the playoffs. They have all the players who had offseason speculation around contracts currently rostered, have the first good start record-wise in a half decade, and the season for all intents and purposes is a wash. Just brutal.

Jake Browning is a very competent backup, and we've seen him win games in Burrow injury stretches before, so it's not inconceivable they could tread water until week 15/16 when Joey B (supposedly) could return. But I'm not gonna hold my breath.

No. 2: Trevor Lawrence, For The 1,000th Time, Is Not The Guy

What got lost in that game, rightfully so due to the injury, was that Browning, despite literally handing the Jaguars the game multiple times, led Cincy to a comeback win, in what was an all-time classic Jaguars backbreaking loss.

I feel like a broken record, but I'm so done with Trevor. Tell yourself he wasn't the problem yesterday, they put up 27 points, he threw for almost 300 yards and 3 TDs all you want. I'll hear none of it.

He simply can't stop turning the ball over. In his 62 career NFL games, Trevor has 71 turnovers. 71! Including two picks yesterday. I tried to find the amount of games he's had multiple turnovers but I couldn't get myself to trust AI's answers. My uneducated guess is in the range of 15.

You can't win games in this league by habitually turning the ball over. Well, unless you're the Bengals yesterday.

"But they were both in the first half. It's not his fault the defense couldn't cover Ja'Marr Chase".

While both true, the defense picked off Browning twice in the second half, and had two big fourth quarter stops to give his unit the ball to ice the game. While I'm putting some blame on Brian Thomas for total lack of willingness to get hit in the middle of the field (maybe he's sick of being put in positions to get broken in half and taken out on a stretcher), he doesn't touch the ball on every play.

You have to win that game if you're the Jags, but again they came up short. The defense made enough plays down the stretch to allow the offense to win the game, and they, led by Trevor, didn't do it. This after he let two opportunities to go up multiple scores in the first half slip with turnovers. He kept the Bengals alive long enough to beat him, and although sometimes unfair, that's on the QB. You won't hear anymore Trevor negativity from me, cause I don't think you'll be hearing anymore Trevor talk in general.

No. 3: Russy Moon Balls Reappeared

If only this game was in Houston so I could make some NASA/moon ball jokes.

The Dallas defense is so much worse than I thought. After we saw the Eagles move at will on opening night, I chalked that up to Philly, thinking they'd do that to every team they play this year. But after seeing them struggle offensively in KC, and this performance against a Giants offense that already had Daboll answering QB1 questions after one game, Dallas is in way more trouble than I thought.

I won't talk about Micah Parsons' absence being felt by a lack of pass rush. This is me not mentioning it. But I will talk about the secondary that had more lanes open than the Katy Freeway after rush hour for Giants players, specifically Malik Nabers, to run freely through. The Cowboys secondary had more miscommunication in one afternoon than the average couple on Love Island has in a full season.

It's hard to make Russell Wilson look good these days, but if there's one way to do it it's allowing him to do the only thing he's still good at; chucking it deep out of the TV camera's scope in the bread basket 50 yards down field. And he did it time and time again.

This game was awesome, but you probably feel like shit if you're fans of either of these teams. The Giants lost on Russ's likely best game of the year and are 0-2, and the Cowboys look like they couldn't stop Bishop Sycamore. Although I don't need to see the Giants play anymore this season (we will Sunday night) I will always enjoy watching Russ huck it deep. It's a thing of beauty.

No. 4: Aaron Rodgers Is Not Aaron Rodgers Of Old

It was a mere seven days ago that radio stations around the city of Yinz were filled with Super Bowl hopeful calls, praise of Aaron Rodgers rebirth, and prayers that the Steel City once again had a QB.

I'd love to have been a fly on the wall in those studios today as blue collar workers called in on their lunch breaks to bitch about Aaron's lack of mobility as they're scarfing down two McDoubles and a 10 piece. Whine about the defense's inability to do their job as they're three months behind schedule on their project. And scorn the rookie special teamer who forgot the new kickoff rules as they're being reprimanded for their fourth case of insubordination.

A-Rod can still sling the ball, but he needs to be in the pocket to do so. Not that this should be surprising to anyone but the 41-year old no longer has the mobility to roll out left or right and beat defenders to the edge. He's visibly unwilling to stand in the pocket and take big hits, and just succumbs to the pressure like any 40+ year old should.

I don't blame him per se, I blame the Steelers for thinking he was the solution. He's never lost the ability to throw the football, but he's lost a good chunk of what made him one of the best to ever play the game in his ability to escape pressure and throw on the run. He's just not the same. I'm not being a hater, just calling it what it is. Good news for him is he gets to play the Patriots secondary this week.

No. 5: The Colts Are Good?

This is as shocking as any headline after week 2 for me. I came out killing the Colts before the season started. I thought they'd be in last place in the worst division in football, have no semblance of an offense and no hope for the future.

But Daniel Jones is playing like Pablo Sanchez in the backyard, and is leading the Colts to the most efficient and frankly best offense in the league through two weeks. Only the Bills have more yards than Indy, and only Baltimore, Buffalo, and Detroit, three of the top five Super Bowl favorites entering the season, have scored more points.

But all of them have punted, which is something Indy hasn't done. No one in the history of football hasn't punted through two games other than this Colts team.

When they made the Dolphins look like middle schoolers I brushed it off, I mean the Patriots just put up 33 points on them. But after backing it up and putting up 200 yards of first quarter offense, en route to 473 for the game, against one of the so-called best defenses in the league in Denver, all I can do is tip my cap. Jonathan Taylor looks like he's fully back, and out for revenge against those like myself that kinda wrote him off. Tyler Warren is a certified weapon. And the defense held up in the second half of Sunday's game when they needed to.

As I said in my roast of the Colts in preseason, I will continue to root for Daniel Jones. I hope that he turns into the QB the Giants always wish he could. So far he is, but I'm still hesitant to think it will last.

No. 6: The Chiefs Will Be Fine And Will Still Win The AFC West

The sky is falling in KC after an 0-2 start, and the first three game losing streak in Pat Mahomes career (which is such a stupid stat, there's no carry over from a previous team).

But they've played two of the best teams in football in their first two games, and played them close. The Chargers have a top defense in the league, and Herbert has started out the season slinging it. They also played that game, in week 1, halfway across the world. I always take those games with a grain of salt.

They then played the Super Bowl champs, and were a Travis Kelce drop at the goal line away from taking a 4-point lead in the fourth quarter. That play changed the whole game, as Philly returned the ball to midfield en route to scoring and making a two possession game.

KC's defense made the Eagles offense look worse than they've looked since Sirianni was on the hot seat leaving Tampa last September. That side of the ball is still very good, and will keep the Chiefs in games like they did last year.

I hate to keep making the comparison since we have double the Super Bowls KC has, but this team is so much like the Patriots of a decade ago. Everyone and their mother is dying to write them off, the predictions of their downfall came flooding in all offseason, and now, after two games against what one could argue as the hardest schedule to this point, especially when you include travel, people are digging the grave.

Not me, man. This team doesn't have the greatest weapons, but they'll slowly be getting some back over the next few weeks. Like the Pats, there's an adjustment period with getting everyone on the same page. The Pats hardly ever looked like world beaters in September.

The defense looked extremely promising on Sunday. And they have the best QB in the league. These were the games they won last year, so to that I'd give the haters some credence. But I didn't think they'd win 15 games this year anyway, so I'd then tell the haters to shut up. I think they'll be just fine. Now's the time to buy Chiefs stock.