NFL Week 15 Six Pack - Cleveland Has a QB, Buffalo Re-Entered The Chat, and Seattle Stayed Alive

It’s separation season. As the weather turns (or doesn’t turn this year) and Christmas approaches, the teams that are real hit their stride, and the pretenders run out of pretend time and are called back in the house. Week 15 was awfully telling.

Vikings/Bengals

The Vikings are like your mentally unwell cousin who takes the cake for best life update at any family gathering. There’s never a dull moment, and there’s always something said that leaves you speechless. Doesn’t matter who the QB is, doesn’t matter what WRs are on the field, who or how good the opponent is, or how much one team was winning at any point in the game, a Vikings game will always be drama-filled down the stretch, and for Vikings fans, often leave you speechless.

This was a backbreaker for Minnesota. One game up on the rest of the wild card field in the NFC, and crazy enough in control of their own destiny in the NFC North, they let a double-digit fourth quarter lead slip through their hands Nelson Agholor-style. Brian Flores’ defense, which has been one of the most potent units in football the last two months, appeared to be in the giving mood come crunch time, allowing three straight TD drives in the second half to Jake Browning and the Jamarr Chase-less offense after allowing just 113 yards and a turnover up to that point.

It's not untypical that Zac Taylor and his staff made correct adjustments coming out of halftime, which we’ve seen happen time and time again. That’s the MO of this team, which now is wide-eyed as their stare down a playoff berth. Two tough division games and the Chiefs remain, and with Jamarr Chase sidelined with an injury, they have their work cut out for them. But if Browning can continue to play the way he has, and Tee Higgins can wake himself up from the season-long nap he's been in, like he did Saturday, this team will still be dangerous if they sneak in a wild card spot. My gut still says they won’t make it.

Browns/Bears

The only thing people love more than a good story is a good spiral. In the case of Joe Flacco’s unretirement party, we have both. 

While Flacco may be feeling like a 10-year-old on the inside, on the outside he’s playing like a 10-time pro-bowler. I’m not hyperbolizing. He’s averaging 313 YPG and has seven TDs in three weeks, and the Browns are 3-0 with him behind center. He’s by far the best QB the Browns have fielded this year, and that includes their $230 million sexual predator.

Joe Cool isn’t perfect, and against an under the radar stimy Bears defense struggled through three quarters. But he’s still got that 2012 clutch gene, and it came out in the fourth, to the tune of 212 yards and a double digit comeback win. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but a Joe Flacco with nothing to lose, and a top-tier defense on the other side will be a force to be reckoned with in January. 

The Bears added another chapter to their laughable 21st century storybook. A blown 10-point fourth quarter lead wasn’t enough. The hail mary that Fields threw fell into the lap of Darnell Mooney as he was on the ground. All he had to do was baby-cradle the thing, but instead turrets-kicked the ball into the Browns defender’s hands and into the loss column, in essence ending the Bears season the most Bears way possible. Hilarious. Inches away from legitimate playoff hopes in Chicago, the Bears are once again left with nothing, and another offseason of draft and potential front office/coaching change talk. I almost feel bad. Almost.

Buccaneers/Packers

I’m not one to brag about my correct takes. Ok so what if I am. You would too if in the preseason you said the Bucs would be the surprise team of the year and be in the race and potentially win the NFC South. At +650 preseason to win the most pathetic division in football, the Bucs were more underappreciated than the friend who is never the most fun to hang out with but is the catalyst that brings the group of friends you do like to hang out with together. 

While the world assumed a letdown spot for Tampa after two close division wins, and an obvious bounce back spot for the Packers after an embarrassing performance against the Italian Mafia New York Giants, Baker figuratively planted the Bucs flag on the Packers logo, throwing for 381 yards, 4 TDs, and a perfect 158.3 passer rating (first opposing QB to ever do that in Lambeau).

As a Baker half-stan, I thought this year could happen. He had a tough situation in Cleveland, as all do, played through injury to his own detriment, and was shipped off, lost in translation last year like a Christmas package at a UPS store. Tampa was the perfect spot for him. A team with the best weapons he’s ever had and zero expectations. Baker may not be the most talented guy, but he relishes the underdog role like few do. The masses assumed that Brady’s departure would tank this team. But those masses forget to realize Brady wasn’t Brady last year. I said preseason if Baker can replicate Brady’s numbers last year, which weren’t GOAT numbers, the Bucs would be in it. Through 15 weeks, he’s doing just that. I’m rooting for this team.

This game isn’t about the Packers. It’s about the Bucs. I have nothing nice to say about the Packers, and as my mother taught me, sometimes it’s better to say nothing at all. Sometimes silence is louder than words.

Cowboys/Bills

This game flopped more than LeBron in any game of his career ever. I mean, I knew the Bills would win, they were the gold medal pick at -2 last week. But I wasn’t expecting that. An obvious letdown spot for Dallas after the Jerry Jones claimed “best win in the Mike McCarthy era”, and a must win at home for Buffalo, the Bills FINALLY pieced together a full game. They showed that at their best they are one of the best, and proved what I said last week: we need this team in the playoffs. Hell, they might even win the division if Miami drops one of the next two against either Dallas or Baltimore (I predict they will). If they do, and the Bills beat the hapless Chargers and equally hapless Patriots, I’m calling my shot for the Sunday night Week 18 game, in Miami, for the division crown. OOOOOOOHHH what a game that would be. Please Buffalo don’t fuck this up.

I’m not overly worried about Dallas. At least on offense. This was the most predictable loss maybe ever, and they’re in the midst of their schedule gauntlet where they’re down to lose a game or two (see Eagles). If there is concern, it’s on defense. Yeah, they’re defense is in general great. But I’ve said before that they’re a boom or bust defense due to their aggressive nature, and if they aren’t turning teams over, they can be had. And they have been had this year, by unironically the three best teams they’ve played (first Eagles game, obviously not second). They’ll beat you at the finesse game, cause they can match speed for speed. But Buffalo played bully ball, much like San Francisco did and Philly can, and they had no answer. Josh Allen threw seven completions for Allah’s sake. The offense will likely need to play lights out against the top teams come playoff time, or it’ll be a similar story for big D.

Ravens/Jaguars

Is Trevor hurt? I still don’t know how he never missed a game after getting his ankle trounced by a 330-pound semi-truck of a human, but he never did. Maybe he should’ve, as he hasn’t played well in either outing. Five turnovers, two losses, and a potential concussion later, Trevor and the Jags are on the brink of epic collapse. A three game lead in the AFC south has vanished in as many weeks, and only their superior division record is keeping them atop the standings for the time being. 

The offense hasn’t been the same without Christian Kirk, and Calvin Ridley just isn’t who the Jags or the general public expected him to be on a consistent basis. Their defense played better than expected Sunday night after two embarrassing performances, but the other two phases took over as the ones to shoot them in the foot. Two missed field goals by McManus, who suddenly seems to barely be able to kick the ball 50 yards, and a disaster sequence of clock management at the end of the first half account for a minimum of nine points. Add in two fumbles from the turnover monster TLaw, and you’ll never beat a good football team. Luckily the schedule is fairly soft coming in, but don’t sleep on Tampa this week. This nightmare they’re in might get worse.

Did you just read what I said? How much credit does Baltimore deserve for beating a reeling clown show that is the Jags? Some for sure, but only enough for a cookie or two. Lamar had a vintage Lamar game, running around the backfield like a third grader who stole their second grade brother’s lollipop. That, and the fact Jacksonville was playing against themselves as much as the Ravens, and this was still a three point game heading into the fourth. 

The Ravens win a lot of games per usual. Lamar is difficult to defend, as usual. But are they a San Francisco-like equivalent in the AFC? I guess we’ll find out this weekend, but I don’t think so. They can be had as easily as anyone else in the AFC, especially with Keaton Mitchell now out for the year. Playing RB for the Ravens feels like a death sentence at this point. Mitchell was awesome, and that sucks for him and the team.

Eagles/Seahawks

CenturyLink, now Lumen Field, has got something in the water. Turns out it wasn’t just Russ that made weird shit happen up in the Pacific Northwest after dark. In a classic Seahawks game, Drew Lock stunted on the Matt Patricia led defense with a 92-yard drive with under two minutes to go to seal a massive win for the Hawks.

I loved watching the confused look on Matt Patricia’s stupid face as he got got while playing single high safety with 28 seconds left from the 30 yard line. He called a very good game overall, but that dude is allergic to prosperity, so the ending was storybook. I digress.

Seattle’s season may be saved. Now 7-7 and currently tied but on the outside looking into the wild card, the Hawks have very winnable games coming in. A road game in Tennessee always makes me nervous, and the early line furthers that notion. I don’t know what’s going on with Geno and the QB situation, but it’s not like this year’s Geno has been last year’s Geno, so going with Lock may not be the drop-off many expect. They have the talent to compete with anyone, and certainly the talent to compete with the Saints and Giants who they have next. Losses by Philly and Dallas this weekend make it that much more likely San Fran will lock up the one seed week 17, which could also be huge for a week 18 tilt against Seattle in Seattle if they rest guys. 

Philly got beat to shreds by the schedule makers. There’s no two ways around it. A combined opponent record of 55-29 they faced in their last six games, along with coaching changes and a not fully healthy QB, it's inevitable that losses will come. 

I know they scored 17 points, but last night made me feel better about this team. With the chips on the line come January, I’m still taking this team over most. I know they haven’t, but I still believe that when needed, Jalen Hurts and the offense will make the play. The other side of the ball I don’t believe that. Yeah, they played better yesterday, but when it mattered most didn’t come through. I don’t have the same blind faith in the defense as I do the offense, and I don’t think I’m alone. Bradberry got picked on in that last drive. I didn’t watch the whole game so I don’t know if that was the case all night, but that was a tough look for 24. The Eagles will win most games they give up 20 points or less, but like I said, weird shit happens in Seattle, and weird things have happened all year on Monday night. Don't look too far into this one.

The gauntlet is over, and it’s time to get right in Philly. If they don’t take care of the Giants, Cardinals, and Giants again, scratch every positive thing I said. It’s over. This division is still theirs if they go 3-0, and if they do, I’ll take Philly at home against anyone (excluding niners, but that’ll be on the road anyway).