Week 1 Roundup - Biggest Story From Each Slate of Games

This isn’t my typical blog style. Normally I’ll pick the topic that I feel most strongly about and babble my way through a 5 min read so I can feel like I can breath again.

But this is week 1, so naturally all of my slightest feelings are elevated to vent-worthy status. And while there are plenty of headlines to run through, let's keep it to one noteworthy callout per time slot.

Pre-week One: The Ravens are in Trouble

This isn’t because they lost the game by a toenail. This isn’t because they can’t seem to get over the Chiefs’ hurdle that no one else can get over either. This isn’t because in all likelihood they’ll have to travel to Arrowhead this postseason if these teams matchup.

It’s because they looked lost on offense. It starts with the offensive line, which I highlighted as an issue in my Ravens preview as they lost three starters in the offseason.

They got nothing going on the ground with Derrick Henry, so much so they stopped trying. Lamar was pressured all game, scrambling for his life in the backfield like he was playing professional tag. In the first half, Lamar had an average of 0.8 air yards per attempt on 18 throws, with only two of those 18 travelling more than 4 yards past the line of scrimmage. If that’s not an indictment on your offensive line and lack of faith in them idk what is.

If this wasn’t Lamar Jackson in the backfield this game would’ve been a route. If his duck touchdown pass to Isaiah Likely was picked off like it should've been, or at least batted down, this may not have been a game down the stretch. The score was a lot closer than the game was, and most people will think the Ravens were unlucky with the toe to lose this game. I'd say they were lucky to even be close.

I know the Chiefs are a good defense, but the Ravens need to figure their shit out quick. You can win games with Lamar playing hero-ball, but they should know by now that doesn't play in January. I’m worried about this team. Even for week one that looked rough.

1PM Slate: The Patriots are Back

Let me be clear this is not homer talk. This is the 1pm pick because what else was surprising in this slate? That Josh Allen turned Superman and won the game by himself? That Pittsburgh played like shit but won an ugly game? That the Bears won a game being shitty on offense? Or the Giants/Panthers are in fact the worst teams in football?

This slate for the most part went exactly how I laid out in my eight division preview blogs (read them if you haven’t). Except for one.

The New England Patriots were laughed off every television set in NFL circles. They were dismissed earlier than the high school golf team going to a tournament an hour and a half from school, and forgotten quicker than the answers to the Calculus quiz answers I used to memorize on Chegg.

You get the point. The Patriots were supposed to suck. The Bengals were supposed to be good. That’s why the bar I was at had just one of their 70 TVs tuned into this game at 1pm.

This game stunned me. I was in the group that dismissed this team, thinking this season was lost and had mentally moved on to 2025. But this win was no fluke; they dominated the Bengals.

Whether it’s on the stat sheet or the eye test, the Patriots were the better team. Controlling the game on the ground, time of possession, better on third downs, winning the turnover battle. You name it, check goes to the Pats.

Cincinnati had 82 yards of offense in the first half, including three 3-and-outs to start the game. Christian Gonzalez picked up right where he left out smothering Ja’Marr out of the gate. There was no semblance of a run game, and Joey B looked lost without the weapons he was used to having.

On the other side, Rhamondre 3000 looked like his Oklahoma self, behind a supposed incompetent offensive line that looked fairly competent. They struggled in pass protect, but if we can run the ball like this who needs pass protect. Jacoby played the perfect game, not turning the ball over, scrambling when he needed to, and making simple but accurate throws that kept the chains moving. 2024 Patriots football to a tee.

The defense was electric without two of its star players from last year in Judon and Barmore. People forget (for good reason) that this was the best defense in the NFL the back half of last year, losing three games despite giving up 10 points or less, so they still got guys.

I’m bought into this team through October at least. From lost hope to cautiously optimistic, give me a win over Seattle this weekend and I may not be able to control myself.

4PM Slate: DeShaun Is Done

It’s not often someone is so bad in one game that the fans, media, and maybe teammates (?) are calling for a guy’s head. But this wasn’t just this game.

As I highlighted in my Browns preview (notice how a lot of my previews have already been proven correct), DeShaun is a bum. He’s now played 13 games with Cleveland over three seasons, looking as depleted and inept behind center as he did the season before. There’s no urgency, no precision, no decisiveness, and seemingly no confidence.

The fact he didn’t play a snap in preseason has me debating putting Kevin Stefanski back on my list. But I’m not saying that alone would’ve changed Sunday’s outcome.

DeShaun was throwing go routes six yards out of bounds. He was missing slant routes two yards behind the receiver. He was sacked six times, a lot of which was due to holding the ball for eternity, and threw two picks, double the amount of TDs he threw.

I don’t want to hear that his two starting tackles were out. I don’t want to hear that Nick Chubb is injured and they’re working with a backup in the backfield. I don’t want to hear that Njoku got hurt and left the game early. All of these were the case when Cool Joe Flacco came off the coach and went scorched Earth on the league last year with this team.

There’re no more excuses for DeShaun. Limited time with the team excuse has expired. Injured roster excuse as been debunked. The guy just can’t play. I’m fascinated to see how long they throw DW out there for the sole reason of his abomination of a contract. I’d understand trying due to the massive pill that is the dead money you’d have to swallow. But you have an obligation to your fans, players, and organization to win, and one game in it’s pretty evident this isn’t the way to do that.

If only the Browns kept Flacco.

Prime Time Games: Jets Defense Disappeared

Remember this team was just a QB away? That putting any competent thrower of the football behind center, with this defense, would be all the Jets need to win a Super Bowl?

Zach Wilson, Trevor Symien, Tim Boyle, Ethan Aube; doesn’t matter who was behind center on Monday night in the Bay, the Jets weren’t winning that game. And while he didn't play great, it wasn't Arod's fault.

Their defense couldn’t stop a nose bleed. 401 yards of offense, including 180 yards on the ground (147 of which to a backup) is what the mighty Jets defense let up. Pretty embarrassing if you ask me. They started off with two three and outs and even though that equated to 3 SF points due to a Breece Hall fumble you were feeling pretty good. But the next seven possessions, the last seven possessions the 49ers had, all resulted in points.

They couldn’t tackle. They couldn’t cover. They couldn’t pressure. Surely Hasson Reddick isn’t this instrumental in their success, since he wasn’t even on the team last year. Was Bryce Huff?

You can flip this and praise San Francisco for not missing a beat and looking like a juggernaut yet again. They deserve all the praise. But I will always take my opportunity to slam the Jets, especially when I genuinely feel they deserve it.

Aaron Rodgers will shake off the rust sooner or later, but if their defense plays like it did on Monday Aaron Rodgers won’t matter. I wasn't expecting to call their defense soft, but that's the best word I can come up with. I don't expect that to happen again, but I didn’t expect it to happen Monday either.

Jets fans are already shaking in their boots.