I'd Rather Be The Patriots Than The Steelers Right Now

What’s better? A shitty job that’s just not shitty enough to quit, so you stay slightly unhappy for the rest of your life while collecting great benefits, or a job so bad it breaks your will, occasionally bringing you to tears, but provides the conviction that you need to leave, so you Daenerys-style chain-break out of there, flying away on your dragon with the whole world at your fingertips?

As someone who’s experienced both in my life, the answer to me is easy. It’s the latter.

The latter is the Patriots. While I’ve sulked in disgust much of this season wondering how this team could be this bad, attempting to pull myself off the ledge to believe a little longer, only to be called a pussy for not jumping, and getting right back on the ledge, I’ve found peace in who we are. I loved Mac Jones. He was the one. But at some point, what was once good for you is no longer, and on his trip back from Frankfurt, I cut ties. And I’m better for it. My expectations are gone, I laugh with the others about 90-year old records we set for losing three straight games despite allowing 10 points or less on defense in each, I accept the fact we have the least amount of offensive talent in the NFL, and I watch the games solely because it’s my obligatory duty. It’s freeing, knowing you aren’t stuck on the path to Neverland we’ve been travelling the last two years. There’s no telling what will come in the future, but we know it won’t be this. And that’s a freeing feeling.

Then there’s the Steelers. All the talent in the world. A what should be top WR room in the NFL. A not great but still good RB duo. A defense with first team all-pros all over the field, and a future hall of fame head coach. And you lose to those Patriots. And frankly have looked as porous as them all season despite somehow winning seven games. The offense is nauseating. So much so the Steelers broke their corporate bylaws and fired a coach midseason. Sure they had one good game immediately upon his departure, but have since been as stomach-turning as they were before. They’ve now lost back to back games at home to incoming 2-10 teams. Can we get a Patriot-like 90-year-old record stat for the last time a team with a winning record lost two straight homes, or any games for that matter, to 2-10 teams? No chance that’s happened since we sent Armstrong to the Moon.

At 7-4 and hosting the Cardinals and Patriots the next two weeks, the Steelers were all but a lock for the playoffs. Which would’ve called for a full offseason of pats on the back for Mike Tomlin, orchestrating another above expectation season in Yins-burg. But in just two weeks, they’ve replaced week 5 me on the ledge. The fans are ready to jump. Some I’m sure have. But what’s most concerning is some of the players seemed to have already jumped, or at least have said their goodbyes to their families.

JV football as Tomlin called it. Two weeks in a row with no pep in their step, no urgency in their play, and endless mental errors. What’s going on in that locker room? Is Kenny Pickett that important to the team? Do they all know Mitch is as bad as the general public thinks he is? George Pickens throws fits on the sideline almost every game. Dionte Johnson quits on plays as their unfolding. And there doesn’t seem to be a galvanizing voice to right the ship.

How many times can Mike Tomlin get credit for piecing back together a broken locker room before we start asking how a coach’s locker room is constantly broken? Why does this always seem to happen with this team? A habitually loaded roster hasn’t reached the Super Bowl since 2010. And now more than ever, they appear to be the ones lost in Neverland.

I know it sounds crazy, but is it THAT crazy to say I’d rather be the Patriots right now? Our season is lost, but we didn’t have the roster in the first place to make something of this year. We’ll have a likely top three pick and a ton of cap space to spend in the offseason. There’re questions around Belichick returning, but I’m confident he will, and think he should. He’s too smart to not realize how shitty he’s been at handling a football team the last few years, and he’ll adjust. And yes, winning six Super Bowls buys you more than one mediocre and one awful season. The Patriots know where they are, and that’s the dump. But at least we know. There’s no pretend hope that our QB could be the guy, that our near losses to good teams means we’re right on the cusp. We stink, we’ll reload, and we’ll be back. There's clarity.

The air in Pittsburgh is more murky than Timbuktu after a sandstorm. They should be good, but they aren’t. They win games they shouldn’t, holding their fanbase hostage as the “are we good?” questions are asked at a more frantic pace. They sometimes make the playoffs, getting throat-stomped in the first round by the Chiefs or other top AFC foes (like the Patriots two years ago). This year they’ll likely miss the playoffs, and will be stuck wondering what to do. Unlike New England, it’s not due to a lack of talent. They have talent everywhere. It’s not assumed to be the head coach/GM running a nepotism convention the last two years with his coaching staff, ruining their promising first round QB in the process. So what do you do? You fired the OC. I would presume they move on from Pickett, hoping that’s the missing piece. But they seem almost as far away as the Patriots from contending for championships, and with this roster that’s a problem. It’s a weird time to be a Steelers fan right now.

Go Pats.